The Why

There is one question that I have been continually asked by my family and friends... WHY??? Why take the drastic measure of weight loss surgery? Why choose such an extreme way to lose weight? Why this irreversible procedure? Why why why are you doing this?

So I'll tell you my many reasons why I have chosen this approach to weight loss. In no particular order...

1. Failed attempts - I have tried, struggled and failed on my own attempts at weight loss since high school - weight watchers, lite n easy, tony ferguson,  years of gym memberships, swimming passes, boot camps, organised sports, cutting out carbs, psychologists, and much more. All attempts worked for a little while then some self sabotaging, negative thoughts take over and I return to binge eating. I need help!

2. My daughter - I have a beautiful baby girl, almost 2 already, who deserves not only a mum who WANTS the best for her child but to have a mother who is alive, able and willing to witness, guide, protect, laugh with, sing with, learn from, rely on, participate in and really be there for her growth into adulthood. I want to be here for everything.

3. Future children - I desperately want more kids. At the moment it is somewhat difficult to get pregnant and will be incredibly risky and difficult to be so. I need to lose weight before I have more children.

4. The permanancy of the surgery, being physically unable to eat the way I do now, is what I need. A constant reminder to eat well and in correct portions.

5. Beat it before it beats me - I want to overcome obesity and break the bad habits before I get any further health problems which will come if I do nothing. I want to fix my current problems and decrease the risks of coronary heart disease, diabetes, stroke, high blood pressure,  cancer,  sleep apnea, abnormal blood fats, gallstones, reproductive problems and more.

6. Quality of life - being able to vacuum and hang out washing without sweating, do my hair before my arms get tired, stop for a few minutes without zonking out, get around easier and going shopping without feeling like I've run a marathon.

7. For me - I want to feel good again! I want to buy clothes because I love them not because they happen to fit. I want to ride a bike again because I can. I want to be able to sit on the floor and play with my daughter without spending the next half hour waiting for the feeling to come back in my legs. I want to drive a car and fit on the seat without my arm overflowing in the centre console and my belly/legs touching the wheel. I want to stand/walk without ankle, knee, hip or back pain. I want to sit on my bed without hearing the springs. I want to put myself first and do whatever it takes to get me back.

I have a huge list of small things also that I'll be ticking off as they happen.

I want to change my life while I still have the chance. This is not the cop out, easy option, lazy way to lose weight. It is going to be incredibly hard and terribly strict. Which is what I want and need. My choice to take control of my mind, body and future. And it is my choice.

I hope those who judge or worry about this decision begin to understand my reasons why.